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Sounds like an important book. Thx for the recommend.

I’ve been on a self improvement journey for many years. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle was the first wild inspiration. Recently I read and would recommend The Power of Love by James Van Praugh and Breaking the habit of Being Yourself by Dr Joe Dispenza. The book that healed my back pain— yes a book not a drug— was The Divided Mind by Dr John Sarno.

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I love Tolle’s books. I’ve heard about Joe Dispenza and John Sarno, and I think it’s amazing how indivisible the mind and body are.

Thank you for reading and commenting, Carissa!

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Nice! Seems like it's worth checking out - the stages reminded me of the 4 stages of life in Hindu philosophy, the "ashramas" (that my Friday story will touch upon as well...) Feel like there are so many themes of my life I'm only now uncovering in my 50s...that I've not paid attention to so far. Something about the "vanaprastha" ashram forces long awaited reflection...

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Hello Reena, thank you for reading and commenting! I am beginning to think it is true that life only makes sense in retrospect. I find the different ashram stages capture appropriate life stages really well though contemporary lives may be moving away from them.

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I’ve often thought we got life the wrong way around, living it in the wrong direction, and learning wisdom when we have enough experience that we are not in such dire need of it.

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I discovered, quite on my own, Thoreau’s Walden, Wendell Berry’s What Are People For?, and John Muir’s My First Summer in the Sierras, all of which taught me how to live a good life, a process more about going in a direction worthy of the precious gift of life, rather than simply sitting atop of a tall pole to rid my soul of its inevitable evil.

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Love Berry, and What Are People For? is one of my all-time faves as well.

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I love his work too! Thanks, Julie!

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I grew up in Mumbai, India for the first 10 years of my life and in the Persian Gulf for the next nearly 10 years- so, I read mainly Indian folk tales and myth, and British writers during my childhood. It wasn’t until I moved to the United States in my mid-twenties that I became aware of Thoreau and Wendell Berry. I am a huge fan of Berry’s poems. I haven’t read the John Muir book and will look for it. Thank you for reading and sharing! Much appreciated!

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I have a friend who lives near Wendell Berry’s farm, so she decided to stop by and tell him hi for me because she knew I was an avid reader of his work. Sadly, no one was at home, but I was that close.

The closest I ever got to my other literary heroes was a walk around Walden Pond several times and to admire a Sequoia tree in Boise that was a gift seedling from John Muir to the daughter of Idaho’s first first state forester. It’s the only one of the four he sent to her that still survives and it is a beautiful giant. Interestingly, it was in the way of a hospital expansion, so it was moved to an open space several years ago and continues to thrive. I’ve even started seedlings form it and plan to do so again this winter.

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Nov 29, 2023·edited Nov 29, 2023Liked by Priya Iyer

I remember being a kid and thinking that adults were these people who had it all figured out — how wrong I was haha.

You totally sold me on this book, Priya!

I’m looking forward to reading it.

Thanks :)

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Yes! I also remember when, in my early 20s, it hit me that adults are just making it up as they go. What a shocker!

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I know, right!?

It’s actually a tough pill to swallow, because it’s like, “really, no one knows what’s going on, and it’s up to me to steer this ship?”

Only now am I even barely getting the hang of this thing.

Thanks Julie :)

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All the more reason to be very skeptical of people who claim to have answers and/or simple solutions to complex problems. 😬

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Also, someone else’s answers may not be the right one for you.

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Such a good point, Priya.

We are all on our own (hero’s) journey :)

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I couldn’t agree more, Julie :)

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Hi Michael, thank you for reading and commenting. It wasn’t until I was well into my thirties that I realized I was an adult! As for having figured everything out- still a work in progress!

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Yes, I’m still getting used to this whole adulting thing haha

It’s very strange :)

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Reflections on the Art of Living: Joseph Campbell.

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A favorite! Thank you, Dee, for reading and commenting.

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I can't recall a specific book that stood out to me, but during my teenage years, I was into Herman Hesse's works, and my first venture into self-help was with Og Mandino. The most significant life lessons, however, came from the challenges of adulthood.

Currently, I'm delving into Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Be Useful," which aligns with its docuseries. I appreciate how Schwarzenegger reflects on the highs and lows of his life, extracting valuable lessons along the way. It's a practical and insightful take on navigating life's experiences.

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He's such a fascinating character.

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I enjoyed Herman Hesse’s work, especially Siddhartha. I hadn’t heard of Og Mandino and just looked him up- I plan on reading some of his books.

Thank you, Nenad, for reading and sharing the books. You’re right about the important lessons coming from the experiences of adulthood.

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I like the idea of a handbook for how to be an adult. And also, I don't. We all need help. But I think we all need to live life as if nobody had ever done it before.

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Thank you for reading and commenting, Jeffrey. I read an interview with Maria Tatar, the author of The Heroine With 1001 Faces, in which she said she intentionally didn’t list stages of the heroine’s journey and instead chose to focus on “the features of heroism.”

“… , that somehow the minute you are rule-bound, you shut down the possibilities for creative improvisations.” (https://www.eyeforfilm.co.uk/feature/2022-01-27-maria-tatar-in-conversation-on-the-heroine-with-a-1001-faces-feature-story-by-anne-katrin-titze)

I agree that yes, it’s great to have a book, and no, don’t be bound by it. Also, the subject of my next post!

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Thanks for this reminder, Priya! I have had this book on my shelf for years. Time to read! My son, at 21, is what we call a "young adult," which seems like a relatively new term. Maybe I'll give him this book. 😊

As for recommendations I'm reading James Hollis, "Living an Examined Life: Wisdom for the Second Half of the Journey." It's in short chapters, great bedtime reading. Earlier, Debbie Ford's "The Dark Side of the Light Chasers" was an excellent intro to shadow work. I also love Anne Lamott's books - "Traveling Mercies," "Bird By Bird," really all of them. Her humor lightens even the most difficult subjects. My very agnostic mother and I read together, "Help, Thanks, Wow," when she was dying.

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I meant to say, one of the toughest things I've learned is that the VERY BEST way to work on myself is *in relationships*. I was so afraid to do that when I was younger. It's still intimidating, especially when the stakes feel high. I had a lot of shame and was afraid to show my "true self" to my loved one - when, all along, they knew far more than I did about me.

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Isn’t that the truth, Julie. It seems everyone knows about us better than we know it ourselves. I wrote recently that we are in no position to accurately assess our selves and the value of what we do. We simply can’t get the perspective from the outside in. When we judge ourselves, we tend to become either vain or bitter.

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Well said. “Don’t believe your press” is pretty good advice.

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So powerful!

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When I told my son to read it (especially this part on this page, I think this is very helpful for where you are at 😂), he read it and gave it back, saying that he didn’t think life was something to be learned from a book. Which made me wonder if it’s the middle aged who appreciate these books the most. Also, I’m a huge fan of James Hollis! Thank you for the shadow book recommendation- my personal favorite is Meeting the Shadow (ed. By Connie Zweig).

I love that you read together with your mother- it’s so poignant and powerful.

Thanks, Julie!

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😊 That sounds like something my son would say. . . .

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Thanks for this. The title rang a bell, and I was able to find a copy in my husband’s bookshelves. Seems like a good reading/thinking project for me, for the end of year transition. He also has a copy of How to Be an Adult in Relationships, which I was happy to see. :)

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😀 Thank you reading and commenting, Rebecca! I love Richo’s rich language, and the book also helps me reflect on and understand patterns of my behavior.

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